I wish that you loved me for me,
Not what I do
Or how I make you feel
But for my heart
Who I am.
Sometimes I get so wrapped up in who I am to everyone else and how well I play those roles, living and loving in each small niche carved out of my being. The cloak of Mother requiring self-sacrifice and nurturing, occasionally clashing with the support required of Wife. Daughter, Sister, Aunt, Niece, Granddaughter, Friend. Each part detracting from my wholeness.
I even used to approach God with similar intentions. God, what can I give You? How can I serve You? What do You want from me?
But God, in His infinite goodness, loves me for me. Not what I can do for Him, but who I am. He is the God who sees, El Roi. Now, my question for God has changed. Instead of asking, What do you want me to be for You? I ask, Who am I in You? And that changes everything. Because in Him, I am uniquely created. I am loved. I am held.
The Eternal your God is standing right here among you,
and He is the champion who will rescue you.
He will joyfully celebrate over you;
He will rest in His love for you; He will joyfully sing because of you. Zephaniah 3:17
And just as God created me, with all of my unique quirks and passions, He created you. He is your champion and He longs to joyfully celebrate you, not for what you’ve done for Him, but because of who you are.
Do you need a break today? A break from all of the doing? From all of those roles you feel you need to play? If so, I encourage you to wear this label deep within your being: beloved child. Come and sit at your Father’s feet as He sings.
The more we recognize our beloved child status, the more we see our other roles as a patchwork quilt, a blanket of being. Experiences stitched together in love, these gifts of self no longer suffocating and required, but comforting and freely offered.
And those desires God gave you, planted in the fertile soil of your beautiful heart, they are not wrong. Chasing God-planted dreams does not have to come at the expense of others, but ignoring them can wither your soul. If you feel God leading, then go. There is nowhere you can go that will separate you from the love of God in Christ Jesus, nowhere.
For the love of God is broader
Than the measure of our mind;
And the heart of the Eternal
Is most wonderfully kind.
If our love were but more simple,
We should take Him at His word;
And our lives would be all sunshine
In the sweetness of our Lord.
(There’s a Wideness in God’s Mercy by Frederick W. Faber, 1854)
Sisters, may we never tire of chasing the sweet sunshine found in the presence of our Lord.